Thursday, November 10, 2016

The Art of Becoming One with Yourself

The best thing you can be in life is to be exactly who you are meant to be. Part of finding the "real you" entails the willingness to be open and vulnerable.  Does the word vulnerable scare you?  It’s not a weakness, it’s a strength you need to develop.  It is the guts to be the authentic you!  You can’t just hide who you are from view if you want to become the best you and sync your outer worldly projected self with your inner beauty. Yes, we all have inner beauty.  It's when the outer and inner life doesn't sync that we experience the most angst. Finding the true you will lead you to that healing place and serenity.

We are on this Earth for a reason, a purpose beyond just ourselves.   The World is the great community which we are part of. Each of us must contribute and participate in the World. If you hide the real you, you will not find the reason you’re here for until much too late in life.  We are only allotted so much time on this Earth, don't waste any days.  Do you know how many days you have left?  I sure don't know how many I have left.

We do matter and we are not alone on this “lonely planet”. Being ashamed of who you are or what you want to do because it wouldn’t please someone else is wrong. 

Now let's explore how we've arrived as an adult with a life where our inner self and outer self is not melding seamlessly. 

Many of us grew up trying to please everyone but our self.  Yes, we have been in training to be adults since the day we were born but your parents had expectations for you.  They had the "perfect life plan" for you the day you were born.  

When a baby is born or adopted the parents think "how joyous an occasion, my child will do......and then college, marriage, grandchildren".  You get the idea.  But is that the life you needed for you to be the real you?  Maybe not.  Parents that act like parents and not just like buddies to their kids are good parents. They are our first teachers in life and need to fulfill that role.  

The best parents are not dictators and will encourage their child to explore what truly interests their child.  Everyone has special talents and gifts and those talents explored can be a step forward in syncing their inner and outer being.  When you observe your child expressing a sincere interest in music, writing, dancing, sports or other things encourage the child to explore that interest.  Guiding your child doesn't mean stifling the child.  A great life skill can be taught to your child by insisting that they last the season if they do sign up for a sport or other activity, and then if they really don't like it after all, allow them to quit.  Encourage your child to give the activity their best shot always. By teaching that stick to it mentality you're teaching them to succeed in life and not jump from one project to another when things don't go their way.  

Teaching is what parents need and must do.  Your parents are not you, and you are not your parents. Parents need to show children by example how to be good, kind, caring, responsible adults by being good examples and not just by saying "because I said so". How many of you have ever heard that once or twice in your life? It's an example of one of those phrases you swear you'll never say to your children and then it spills out of your mouth one day, and you cringe remembering never wanting to say that ever to your children. 

Your life is how you create it. Life entails learning new things every day about both the world and yourself.  It's a process of daily growth, exploration and knowledge.  Life can at times be painful, hard and frustrating but on the flip side, it is beautiful, fulfilling, fun and satisfying.  We go through periods experiencing both sides of that coin along the way. Want the rainbow?  Get through the rain.  

Now back to that word "vulnerable", it is hard to explore the world without some vulnerability. You need to take chances, be open to saying what you feel, doing what you love, and not worry about what others will think of you. Stop worrying about being judged by others! Be the real you!

You can't let the fear of failure stop you from finding the real you. Do something every day that may scare you because you might fail. Failure is part of learning and living!  If we do fail, we need to stop and think of what went wrong and how we can try in a different way.  Failure is never a stop sign! 

Have you ever taken a chance on love?  That entailed vulnerability, it could work or it could fail. But that is a learning opportunity for you and  will give you insights into who you really are.  

Every newly created business can be a vulnerability but you can do research and planning to enhance the chances of success.  Fear is not a stop sign in life ever!   You have to keep going and through the successes and failures along the way you will start discovering who you are inside and learn strength and persistence.

By allowing yourself to be vulnerable about being imperfect to others, then you allow the real person within you to be the same one you are projecting to the world.  Remember this, not one of us is perfect.  The perfect person doesn't exist and never will! We find our authentic self by doing, thinking, reading and learning daily.  It's an ongoing process and we need to accept that in this world of instant gratification. You can attain that serenity you may have seen in others who have found their inner self and have allowed that self to be the one that embraces daily life outwardly.